My epilepsy story.

Hi guys,

To people I look like a normal 22 year old. Working, having a boyfriend, going out but deep down inside I ain’t.. To people who know me and love me know that the past few years have been the hardest of my life to date..

One day I just woke up. I went downstairs made my cereal. A normal day in my books. But suddenly I passed out. I whacked my head. I remember nothing until I woke up with paramedics around me. I was scared. I just cried and cried.

I didn’t know what happened. I just had a banging headache. My tongue was sore and I was in hospital.. at 18 years old this wasn’t what I wanted. Fast forward around 6 months later after brain scans and ECG and EEG. I was told I had epilepsy. No I’ve never known about this or what it is and I was so scared. I was told i had got it from dads side. I was told I’d be on tablets for the rest of my life. I just broke down. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I wasn’t me. After that I had more seizures because my tablets wasn’t working. Again and again hospital after hospital.

I would hate myself. Wake up everyday thinking I could have a fit and die. My little brother has seen me have them and that breaks me. Going through a seizure can last anything from a few seconds to minutes. You start shaking and then pass out on the floor. For people with it. We can’t remember a thing. We wake up. Tired. Headache. Sore tongue. Told to rest for 48 hours and sent away. It’s horrible. There’s no cure. There’s nothing.

A lot of people don’t understand it and for many people it’s life. We live with it. I’m now on tablets that work twice a day. I haven’t had a fit in over a year. It scares me that I will be on tablets forever. It scares me I might pass it on to my own kids.

I have epilepsy. I have anxiety about fitting in public. The bumps and bruises I have to explain. The embrassing things that happen during a seizure. Headache, biting your tongue maybe even choking on it, weeing yourself because you have no control over your body, the aching bones, the tiredness after a fit, the worried family. It never gets easier. I have just learnt to live with it. I have an incredible family and an amazing boyfriend who are so important and caring.

I’m Jenny. I’m 22. I have epilepsy but I’m alive. I’m living a life I want and enjoy my job. I make memories that will last a lifetime. I just have an illness that will be with me forever but I’m in control. If you ever see someone fitting or having a seizure in public just think they might not be drunk they might have epilepsy and help them because we are all human and it’s just a horrible illness.

I’m me. I’m happy. My life might have changed but maybe it’s for the better? I don’t know. I’m still learning.

That was my story and hope it makes people understand about epilepsy but also about people who may not know me and see that I am a normal happy girl but I do have epilepsy.

 

2 thoughts on “My epilepsy story.

  1. jessxclare says:

    That was so well written and I’m so sorry you have to go through fits cos I’ve seen them first hand and it’s not easy! My bestfriend has epilepsy but it went away and now she no longer suffers from it and is tablet free. I hope this gives you some hope x

    Liked by 1 person

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