The C Word.

Hi guys,

So today is going to be a very serious post and something that is so close to my heart.

The dreaded C word I.e cancer. I never thought in my life I would ever to hear this word or see what it can do. It’s the worst disease around and it can literally destroy the people you love. For people not getting smear tests because it’s embarrassing maybe just maybe it is for five minutes but is it worth your life? Yes it is.

At the age of 13. I was told by my mum that my bestfriend, my grandma has breast cancer and she was going to die. How can that happen to someone I love? The person who helped my mum when she needed it, who took me on holiday every summer. Who I honestly couldn’t see my life without was going to die. What made it even worse was the fact my mum was pregnant with my little brother and I wanted him to meet her and become her bestfriend like she was mine. It was incredibly hard to see what chemotherapy and radiotherapy did to my loveable grandma. She wasn’t herself anymore, she was tired. ill she wasn’t the woman I loved. My mum made the decision to not let me see her die. I wanted to remember her as the loveable grandma who took my blackpool, who took me anywhere I asked and looked after me so well. This year it is coming up to 9 years and it never gets easier. I miss her everyday, I wish she met Liam she would of adored him. To this day my brother is now 10 and he knows all about my grandma, our grandma he was only one when she died but we always made sure he would remember her and that’s what we have done.

That hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried and cried for days and months afterwards. I never thought I would lose my grandma to this horrible disease.

Flash forward a few years later. My auntie Denise. Who had already had cancer and had beat it more than once because well she was a warrior. Got the devastating news she had cancer again and this time it was terminal. Again our whole family come crashing down. We was a very close family and every time this disease comes back we become even more closer. It took a hold of her so fast she died within six weeks of she had been told she had it again. I managed to see her before she passed away and that again was heartbreaking she wasn’t herself. She was so tired and ill. I remember her saying look after yourself. I’m just glad Liam managed to meet her and Simon knew her. But let’s go back how do you explain to an 8 year old that another member of our family had died? He was heartbroken, we was all heartbroken. I never thought in my life I would have to deal with cancer so much and see my family members that I love die and be taken by this horrible disease.

I would never ever wish this disease on anyone it can destroy you and your family and the worst thing for me? I’m scared. I’ve seen so many people die and suffer from this disease that one day I might have to tell my family or Liam that I have it and that would destroy me which is why I’m trying my best to get tests done to see if it is within the family which me and my mum definitely think it is.

I guess what I’m trying to say is if you feel anything different or you get that letter for your smear test I urge you to go. It could save your life. Would you rather be in pain for a few minutes or know that it could’ve saved your life? It annoys me that people are to embarrassed to go and get it done. I’m only 23 so I’m not able to have one for another 2 years which is stupid seeing as it’s within the family but hey ho. I just urge you to go, 1 in 2 people will get cancer in their life but if they find it early they can beat it, 7.6 million people die each year from this horrible disease and we need to work together to try and find a cure. I never want anyone to go through what me and my family have been through.

My amazing boyfriend just a couple of days ago did a 12 hour live stream for cancer research. He adored my auntie and he wanted to do it to help save lives. The page to donate is still live he’s managed to raise £42 which is just incredible. I’ll leave a link to his just giving if you fancy donating.

This post was incredibly close to my heart. I want people to know how fast cancer can take a hold of you or your family and ruin lives. I just want people both men and woman to check themselves when they can if you ever feel anything different please go to the doctors. It could literally save your life.

I will always remember my grandma and auntie. Breast and cervical cancer may have taken my loveable and caring family members away but they will always be remembered and hopefully later this year I will be doing a muddy marathon for cancer research and the hospice that gave my family the amazing treatment before they died. We are a stronger family now and closer than ever and they will never ever be forgotten. My auntie is scattered at Rochdale FC where she loved watching her club every week. My grandma has a tree planted which will grow fruit in a few years and it’s the most amazing thing ever.

I will also love and miss them but it’s time to raise money and get the word out what cancer can do.

Thank you for reading.

Till next time,

Jen x

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