Let’s Talk Loneliness.

Hi guys,

So today’s post is very different from my beauty and lifestyle blogs but I do want to talk about mental health at times and also my own experiences with it. Today is going to be all about loneliness and why we need to talk about it more.

First of all I want to say to anyone that is alone or feeling lonely there is always someone to talk to and my social media is always there if you need to talk to anyone.

Loneliness is usually seen within the older generation when they’ve lost their family members and no longer have anyone around to talk to. But would you think it is in younger people aswell? The greatest risk shall we say is uni students. I can’t talk for uni students as I have never been but I recently watched The Youngs video on YouTube about it and this is what sparked me to write this.

My experience with loneliness started at a young age. I was a very shy and a quiet child. I didn’t make friends easy. I always felt alone, I felt like I didn’t belong in the world even though I had people around me. It’s the hardest thing to talk about because people always say “you’ve got people, you can talk to people” because it’s that easy to open up. It really isn’t and never will be. With loneliness as well I think it’s given me the confidence to talk about this openly and hopefully get people talking about it more. I always found it difficult to talk to new people and I still do to this day. I think looking back my loneliness set in when I was 13 and I lost my grandma I would spend everyday/weekend with her. Going on holidays. She was my bestfriend and honestly even till this day I miss her. Once I lost her I didn’t know how to cope or communicate with anyone so I went into my own little shell. I pushed people away. I just wanted to be alone.

Loneliness can seriously be the start of something serious just like depression so it’s better to speak about it before you go down an even darker path which isn’t the greatest. I didn’t know where I belong really till I went to college to study and met some amazing friends and that was the start of me opening up to people telling them how I felt and after that I felt a massive relief and I became a lot happier. I guess I was blaming myself for my grandmas death and it definitely wasn’t. I talk about her death in other blog post The C Word. That was the first time I felt death and grief and talking to someone helped me let go of everything I was holding inside.

I also had bad anxiety from the age of 15/16 I hated large spaces. I hated being in front of people and talking. I’ve had so many panic attacks and I always feel so embarrassed when it happens and that plays a massive part in why I felt lonely even when people didn’t care about my anxiety but I always felt like I was a burden and I was a pain and I deserved to feel lonely. It’s like I wasn’t normal or felt normal and looking back I know it wasn’t my fault but in that time I understand why I felt the way I did.

When I met Liam. Everything changed. He’d always been there, he’d always help me with anything and soon as we met we clicked. I was like right this is the boy I want in my life forever. He made me feel safe. When I cried he’d be there, when I had a panic attack. He was there. Honestly I think he came into my life for a reason and that was to make me feel wanted and loved and not feel lonely for once!

With that we decided to move away from all the bad things in Manchester and move to Morecambe. I can honestly say this has done wonders for my loneliness. I can have a walk to the beach and feel instantly calm and it helps my anxiety so much! I miss my family like there’s no tomorrow but for once I feel like I belong in a place and people with anxiety will understand how much the sea air and beaches can help. It’s done wonders for me and I’m so lucky to live so close to a beautiful beach and it helps having a dog to take on a walk and just put the phone down and walk away from all life worries!

I generally can feel lonely when everyone’s at work and I have no one to talk to and I’m home alone. With this being said I always make sure I keep busy till someone is home by cleaning the house, writing some blog posts, speaking to friends. The hardest thing for me is that I’ve made friends over the Internet and they live so far away I can’t just say “wanna go for a coffee” and that’s so hard. I’m a very shy person and this is massive to my loneliness but I’m trying so hard to just say to people close to me let’s do something? I’m getting there slowly but surely!

Yes I have people around me all the time. I can go see my family when I went but my loneliness is a different type to other people and I guess what I’m trying to say is you can be lonely when your surrounded by people. I always find it hard to say how I feel because everyone has their own lives and I don’t want to bother them with my problems but all they want to do is help and I find it so hard to realise that and always have.

Loneliness has made me realise I can like being alone at times but I also like being surrounded by people. I’ve dealt with so many fake friends and family that when I do open up to them. They walk away and that’s why it’s hard to open up but now I’m surrounded by people who genuinely care and will want to help me in these dark times and make me feel so much better.

In order to meet the right people at the right time we have to enjoy time by ourselves and then you will find real friends who want to help you and go for that coffee. You’ve just got to start loving yourself, enjoying your own company and just seeing how awesome you really are! Because if I’m honest spending time alone is a huge reflection on who you are and it will help your own self esteem massively!

Now if you’re reading this right now and you feel alone. Message that friend, Ring your family, pour yourself a glass of wine and binge on that Netflix show you love. If you can’t enjoy your own company from time to time then how can you expect others to? Once you’re able to be your own bestfriend you’ll meet some incredible people and they will be in your life forever. There will 100% be times where you do feel alone and I still get these times and people will let you down but you’ll know you can do it because you can enjoy your own company.

Till next time,

Jen x

6 thoughts on “Let’s Talk Loneliness.

  1. shannoncora says:

    I really enjoyed reading this post! It has inspired me to write a similar on my experiences practically living alone at uni due to not having things in common with flat mates and my struggles to come to terms with that when my other friends were close with theirs. Having developed a struggle with anxiety and my experiences with therapists and CBT. Feeling as though I’m sometimes a burden because it can be difficult to talk about loneliness, and like you I turn to twitter friends for support, which helps but again I can’t go for coffee with them either. Hope you are well x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. wonderwall360blog says:

    Lonileness is such a big problem! I think with modern technology and people not talking in real life to people as much then that is going to make people feel more lonely. I recently wrote a post about loneliness because I read that the UK had appointed a minster for loneliness.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Edward Jorgensen says:

    Hi Jen, just read this post and I can relate to a lot of it, I’ve recently met someone online and she has anxiety issues but seems to enjoy being at the beach as well. Now I’m a talkative person and although I was shy until I was 24 I’ve since opened up and can talk to a complete stranger now, despite this I’ve still remained single until now (I’m 38).

    As I said earlier I’ve recently met someone online and the more we talk the more I think “this is the women for me” we’re very similar and experienced a lot of the same things in life as well.

    Anyway excuse my long post but keep up the blog it’s a good read!

    Liked by 1 person

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