After my post a couple of weeks about my loneliness i have decided to talk more about my Mental Health and how i am coping/dealing with it. Mental Health is seen as something men and woman shouldn’t talk about. Why can’t we be open about it? 1 in 6 people will suffer with one or more mental illnesses in their life so lets get the conversation going and start a discussion.
Anxiety has always been a huge part of me life since i was a teenage and if I’m honest it’s just part of me now and even though I hate it at times, it’s made me the person I am today and I love that. Before I get into how it’s become part of my life and how I cope with it on a daily basis. If you’re ever dealing with anxiety I would just say talk to someone, family, friends, partner they will help you, once i opened up it was the best thing to happen to me. I didn’t feel so alone anymore and like i could talk to someone how about i felt.
Before we get into all the serious stuff, let’s have a good laugh at one of my favourite quotes ever. Sometimes I think I should’ve sent this my boyfriend the day we met so he knew what he was getting himself into.
I have always dealt with bad anxiety from early years. I was always a shy kid growing up, I found it hard to make friends and just conversations with strangers but it was the worst during my teenage years. I would have panic attacks pretty much everyday, I would cry, scream, anything to get it out of my body. I never wanted to do this I would look like a complete fool but it was the only way I knew to escape. This was one of the main reasons that I struggled with school and keeping friends, it was just so hard to talk to people about what I was feeling so I kept it bottled up inside me and if I’m honest that just made my anxiety even worse. Once i left school I didn’t keep in contact with many people and went of to college to study. College for the first time in a long time was the place I felt I had real friends and I could talk to them about my anxiety. Now with my anxiety it’s all about the social side of things, I can’t cope with large crowds or being judged like I always have been but there’s so many other anxiety disorders out there from;
- OCD ( obsessive compulsive disorder)
- PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder)
- Panic Disorder
There is so many anxiety disorders out there and that’s why i think it’s so hard to figure out which anxiety you may have I know I did and once i got the help and figured it out, I felt so much better and I wasn’t a complete freak.
Just like I spoke about in my loneliness post if you do feel like you have any kind of anxiety disorder all I would say was speak to a professional because the sooner you do the better that you will feel and it won’t fizzle into something much worse just like depression.
Looking back now I can honestly say now it started properly when I lost my grandma at age 13. I just didn’t know how to cope with it all and i just bottled up for years till I finally snapped. I never got over losing her and I don’t think I ever will. Anxiety is the worst thing to deal with alone and maybe if I didn’t bottle it up maybe just maybe it wouldn’t have gotten so bad. I always felt like I was a problem when I had panic attacks and that’s why i pushed people away, I didn’t make friends etc. None of it was my fault ever but in that time, at the place I felt everything was my fault.
Over the past few years I’ve been able to cope and deal with my anxiety in ways I never thought possible, I feel like I’m finally able to move on with my life but my anxiety will always be a part of me and I can deal with that. There’s so many ways to deal with anxiety and these are the ones that I have found that worked for me;
- Taking some time out, just being able to be alone and let the brain switch off.
- Anxiety colouring books, these have been my life saviour and if you know me you’ll know it has to be the Harry Potter ones. Come on it’s me the superfan.
- Talk to someone you trust is the best thing you can do.
- If you have a pet take it for a walk or just go for a walk yourself and switch off.
- Just enjoy life, it’s hard when it takes over but you need to enjoy yourself and not like it take control and you’ll feel amazing.
Overall I just want to say if you suffer with anxiety it’s ok, it’s not something to be embarrassed about or feel like a fool because it’s not normal it is. Surround yourself with positive people who care about you and not fake people because we’ve all been there before haven’t we? I’m always around for a chat if any of you guys ever needed it.
I hope this helps anyone who is suffering from anxiety and it’s ok to ask for help and let’s get the conversation started.
Till next time,